it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
