kristin has been a bad kristin
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
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