My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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