the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
