So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
