I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
