My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
