I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
