you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
