Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
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