im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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