Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
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