"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
too bad you live with your parents still
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
