dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
