Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
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