sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Are we still banned from the library?
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
