the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
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