It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
