She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I booty called her while she was in labor.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
