The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
