Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
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