I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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