If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
