dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
