i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
