New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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