arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
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