the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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