Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Randomize
