last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
