I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
