I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
