You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
