You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Quick, to the slutcave!
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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