One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
