Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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