I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Randomize
