So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Randomize
