Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
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