LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
We had sex on a dog bed..
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
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