Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
