apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Randomize
