And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
