Im at strip club and am horny
Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
