when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Randomize
