I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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