you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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