she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I met the friendliest cop last night
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
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