i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Randomize
