you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
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