24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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