I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Randomize
