Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
