One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
