whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
