He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
and you fell through a lawn chair
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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